


Find Your Place

by TotallyNotASecretAO3Account



Series: TMNT Fics [1]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Big brother Casey Jones, Family Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Leo Needs a Hug, Light Angst, No romantic ships, Self Loathing, Self-Doubt, Stay away plz, TCEST DNI
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:21:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28816989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TotallyNotASecretAO3Account/pseuds/TotallyNotASecretAO3Account
Summary: With the Kraang gone, the Shredder defeated, and New York City safe, Leo struggles with knowing what to do with himself. He feels useless, like there's no place for him or point in his life anymore. So, he naturally isolates himself and his family worries.Casey decides to help.
Relationships: Casey Jones & Leonardo (TMNT), Donatello & Casey Jones & Leonardo & Michelangelo & April O'Neil & Raphael (TMNT), Donatello & Leonardo & Michelangelo & Raphael (TMNT)
Series: TMNT Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2157663
Comments: 5
Kudos: 41





	Find Your Place

**Author's Note:**

> Leo had way too much put on his shoulders in this show... It made for good angst but he deserves better, ya know?
> 
> I wish the show gave Karai more of a big sis role to him instead of what they did but oh well. Leo deserves someone to look out for him so Casey gets to be protective now.

New York City is rarely quiet.

It's hard to be when there's so much going on, after all. Not even mentioning the regular activities of its citizens, the city was a hub for chaos and crime, and had been for quite some time now. From the foot and scattered gangs that roamed the streets, to the Kraang who had made the area their home long before anyone knew about their existence... New York was loud. Fights and screaming, laughter and sobbing... there was always a parade of sounds to be heard. Even the whispers of plans of destruction could be heard if one listened carefully enough, and the turtles had certainly gotten good at hearing those plans. 

But tonight? There was nothing.

Leonardo knew he should be thankful the screaming had ended and a blanket of relative silence had finally settled over his hometown. The Kraang were defeated, the Shredder was dead and staying that way, and all of the other bad guys around had either fled, joined their side, or perished as well. The team had won. After two long years of fighting, they were finally, finally done. They could live peacefully again.

In theory.

The blue masked turtle sighed as he gave up on meditation. He had gotten good at ignoring his emotions and surroundings in favor of concentrating over the years, but he had always had a reason to before. 

If he needed to focus so he could come up with a plan to save his brothers? Meditate.

If he needed to set aside his worries and anxieties to become a better leader? Meditate.

If he needed to calm his racing thoughts and talk to his father? Meditate.

But now? There was no threat of destruction and disaster forcing him to succeed. No reason at all, really, aside from old habits and their tight grasp on him. His father's spirit hadn't even reached out to speak with him in months, since there wasn't really any reason to do it now; Leo was glad to know his father finally got to rest, he really was, but that knowledge didn't fix his loneliness. Without this war, he didn't know what else to do with himself. He was the leader of an amazing team. He was a warrior. He was a fighter. At times, he liked to think he may even qualify as a hero.

But what was a hero to do with no one to save?

Staring at his hands, Leo sighed. While everyone in his family had struggled to adjust, he knew his brothers would end up okay. Sure, they were all mutants and would never be welcomed in the human world (at least until, or if, Renet's stories of an accepting future came to pass), but they had skills and a place in the world. If they couldn't find one, they would carve one out themselves. Leo was sure of this.

Mikey was joyful and friendly, and had created an almost second family for himself even while fighting through a war. Leatherhead, Mondo Gecko, Ice Cream Kitty, and countless other mutants that Leo didn't even know the names of... He cared for them, and they cared for him. He made both of his families laugh when they wanted to cry, and never let anyone's hope die out. Mikey was the promise of a sunrise after a long and cold night, and he was the rainbow after a downpour of rain. He was the hope of a better future everyone knew they could trust to happen. He had a place.

Donnie was kind and one of the smartest individuals in the world, if not the universe. Whoever had created the " _one man's trash is another man's treasure_ " saying clearly had him in mind. He could create world shattering inventions from junk most wouldn't spare a second glance at, and he would find a way to put his creations to use for the betterment of everyone. Though Donnie couldn't see it, he was respected by so many people, and Leo knew he was going to keep creating and keep changing everything for good. The world was trapped in darkness, and he was the bright sunlight that blinded it as it opened its eyes for the first time. No one realized it at first, but after a few blinks, he lit up a beautiful scene that no one had even known they were missing until they saw it. He was the change that no one knew they needed. He had a place.

Raph wasn't all rage and fire; over the past two years, Leo had finally come to see it. His brother would never admit it, but he was built for family. The protective hold he had on Mikey, the joy in his eyes when he saw Mona, the pride when he caught sight of Slash, and the love he held for Chompy... Raphael was was going to be a great father someday. He refused to let anyone hurt the ones he cared about, and if they did, he made sure they would never stop regretting it. Raphael had a hard time seeing himself as anything but an rage filled weapon, but one day he would hold his family and realize with a start what he had created for himself. When a storm threatened to throw everyone overboard, Raph was the anchor that kept it steady. It was heavy and difficult to manage, but worthy of the trust the crew had in it. He would never let his family fall overboard. He had a place.

And Leo...

Leonardo was the painting on the wall. The brave knight spearing the dragon through the heart, a legend and a tale to tell to children. The knight had lived its life of glory and succeeded, but was no longer needed other than for decoration. He was a reminder of a past life. There was no place for him anymore.

Leo looked towards the far wall of the dojo. The sound was distant, but he could hear muffled sounds of laughter drifting in. His brothers, April, and Casey had started a game of Mario Kart. Leo guessed Mikey was destroying everyone in it, but wondered if Casey had managed to take his first place spot yet. The human was the only one who had ever come even close to Mikey's record, a mere 2 seconds slower, but so far had still been firmly stuck in second place. 

There were no sounds of fighting, though, so Leo guessed that wasn't happening. Or maybe it was, and his family had just matured quicker than he thought they would. In that case, he didn't even have the one job he did have left then, did he? The task Splinter had left him before he died: becoming the new sensei and father. That was all he had left... He couldn't lead them into battle anymore, but he had thought he'd have at least a few more years of leading them in general. Sure, there wasn't much he could teach them that they didn't already know, but... they still needed him, right? To look after them? To keep them safe?

Leo chose not to answer that question. He didn't want to hear it. He focused on the sounds of laughter outside instead.

Well, at least they were having fun. He could be happy about that.

"Hey Leo, what's up?"

Leo blinked and looked over to the doorway, seeing the one and only Casey Jones standing in it. Somehow, the guy had managed to enter without Leo noticing, and he lightly scolded himself for not noticing. Sure, he already subconsciously recognized that Casey was not a threat and therefore wasn't looking out for him, and his thoughts were very distracting, but he was a ninja! He should've noticed anyways.

"Oh, hi Casey," He nodded a greeting, shoving his troubling thoughts aside. "What are you doing in here?"

"Just wondering why you aren't out there having fun with everyone else," Casey shrugged. He was still leaning against the entrance. "I know you like your meditating stuff and all, but you gotta learn to chill out too, you know?"

Leonardo scoffed, "Meditating is relaxing. That's the point of it, so I was 'chilling out'." He sarcastically made quotation marks in the air as he spoke, and Casey rolled his eyes.

"Come on dude, I'm serious. Is something bothering you?"

"Yes actually. I'm trying to meditate and someone is in here preventing me from doing so," Leo hissed, hoping Casey would get the message. Casey decided at that moment to invite himself fully in the room, and sat a few feet away from him.

Clearly he did not get the message.

Leo sighed, forgetting the meditation he was failing at anyways, and raised what would be one brow in question. "Aren't you supposed to be competing with Mikey for the record?"

"Dude, I tried. It's impossible," He groaned, "I'm convinced he found some secret shortcut or something. There's no way to beat that time otherwise, I tried!" Casey shook his head and crossed his arms. "But you're not getting out of this, Leo. Something is wrong! You never hang out with us anymore. Your brothers and April are worried too."

"Because I don't wanna play Mario Kart?" Leo asked doubtfully. In truth, Casey was right. **Everything** was bothering him. But finishing the real game of life and no longer having a place in the universe wasn't something that _talking_ would fix, and he sure as hell wasn't going to be bothering the people he was supposed to be taking care of with an answerless problem. Casey may not have been one of his little brothers, but he was a part of his team nonetheless. He wasn't going to burden him like that. ****

"Because all you ever do is meditate or train!" Casey threw up his arms in exasperation, "You don't do anything anymore! You don't even watch Space Heroes. And even when you are out there, you're just quiet and exhausted and don't do anything. You look dead half the time unless you're lecturing your brothers on some stupid argument... We beat the bad guys, dude. We saved the world like, a thousand times already! You should be celebrating for the rest of your life, not sulking away in an old stupid dojo."

"It's not stupid."

"Don't you dare ignore everything else I just said! Acknowledge everything else!"

Leo sighed, rubbing his forehead, "What do you want me to do?" He asked, since denying that something was wrong wasn't working at the moment. He could try again later.

"I want you to talk to someone!" Casey exclaimed, "Your brothers are seriously worried, go talk to them dude! They'll listen."

Leo stared at Casey in amazement. Was he really so idiotic as to suggest that? "Those are my _younger_ brothers, Casey. Emphasis on younger. It's not their job to deal with that."

"Come on, you guys are basically the same age and you know it." Casey gestured blindly, "If you can't go talk to them, at least don't isolate yourself. Go hang out."

"What, you want me to run off and neglect all my duties to play some kid's game?"

Casey rolled his eyes, "Leo, you _are_ a kid. Aren't you guys 17? That's still a kid." He paused to think for a moment, and then shook his head. "Even if you weren't, it's Mario Kart, everyone loves that! Regardless of age. Just hang out! Or at least come to movie night. We can watch Space Heroes as much as you want."

"I'm their Sensei now. I'm not a kid, and I'd rather not. It's pointless. It's just a dumb game and an unrealistic cartoon. I have more important things to deal with."

Casey grows quiet, staring at Leo intently. Leo ignores the urge to move away from his gaze. Leo could easily stare an enemy in the eyes, sure, but this was different. It felt like Casey was staring right into his mind, and he was suddenly very self conscious of every emotion that he had. Logically he knew he should be more worried about April feeling his whirlwind of emotions, but emotionally... he _really_ did not like the way Casey was looking at him, as though he could read his mind. He really didn't need this right now. He was perfectly fine dealing with everything on his own, thank you very much. Why was Casey still pushing?

Casey stopped staring to nod to himself, and then moved over to Leo to throw his arm over his shoulders. Leo didn't push him off, but he did freeze in surprise a little.

"Okay, you know what? I'm done with this. You do exactly what I'm doing to you to your brothers all the time to help them, but act like it's suddenly unacceptable when anyone else tries the same to you. So you know what dude? I'm playing the older brother now. Talk to me."

"What?" Leo's mouth dropped open in shock, "What are you talking about?"

"You claimed you couldn't talk to your brothers because they're the little bros, but I've got a full year on you dude." Casey grinned, but let Leo pull away from his hold. "So you got no excuse. What's up?"

Leonardo... didn't really know what to do. When Casey had first entered, and even after he had demanded to know what was wrong, he hadn't expected him to pull something like that. Sure, Casey was technically older than him, but he was still the leader and still in charge. Casey wasn't trying to threaten that, was he? Was this some stupid ploy to take over the one role he had left, being in charge of his team? Being the older brother? Leo was immediately on the defense. He couldn't lose that! He had nothing else left!

But...

Looking at Casey, he knew he wasn't really trying to do any of that, and Leo was just overreacting. His friend's face had twisted in genuine concern and sadness. He was actually worried about him.

And Leo had no idea how he was supposed to react to that. So, he stayed quiet. Maybe there was a chance Casey would leave before he said something he'd regret. Casey hated the quiet. Leo knew it, just like he knew Mikey hated it and would do anything to escape it. Surely Casey Jones would see this was just going to frustrate him and then he'd leave. It was a simple plan, and it would work. 

It did not. Casey did end the silence, but not by leaving. He just started to speak.

"You know, I know how you feel," Casey began, hesitantly. "About not wanting to bother your brothers with how you're feeling. I'm an older bro too, you know, I've told you I've got a baby sister."

"Yeah?" It was no secret Casey had a sister, as he often worried about her. But his mentions of her were usually about her vague safety. Whether she was alive or still human on the many occasions the city or world had been destroyed or mutated, or other crazy situations like that. Leo couldn't recall him ever talking about their personal relationship though. It just wasn't brought up.

"Yeah." Casey leaned back, using his hands to prop him up. "I listen to her problems a lot... Stuff like her next math test, the cute girl she's crushing on in class, or some show she missed and is complaining about... I'm not gonna lie, I've gotten annoyed at her trying to rant about that while I'm trying to catch up on sleep 'cause I was up all night stoppin' invasions and stuff. Like, that's what you're upset about? Not that all this fighting ain't sick, but I don't miss watching the Earth get sucked into a blackhole and stuff like that. I wouldn't trade my life for anything, but... I don't know, it's just kinda frustrating hearing people act like a C is the end of the world when I've literally seen the end of the world."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "But... I'd never stop her to tell her that. And I would never even think about letting her know that I saw the planet she was standing on get thrown into a black hole, or that I've been eaten alive by some stupid space worm, or I've nearly died a dozen times over. She's my kid sister. It's my job to protect her, so that she can just worry about dumb things like multiplication tests and a missed TV finale. I want unimportant things to the world to be important to her."

Leonardo nodded in agreement. Casey got it. That was exactly what he thought about his own siblings. Sure, he knew his brothers had gone through almost exactly what he had, but he wouldn't use that as an excuse to throw even more on their shoulders. They deserved to celebrate and enjoy their success, and their big brother's feelings weren't supposed to be their problem. He could deal with it.

Before Leo could voice his agreement, Casey met his eyes, and his face was gravely serious. There wasn't a hint of humor or sarcasm present in his words as he spoke. 

"So you know what I do? I talk to April. I talk to Raph. I talk to other people who get it, and I _do not_ isolate myself and try and deal with it on my own. That's the difference between us."

Ah. Leo should've known there was a catch. "Casey..."

"I'm not your little brother, Leo, and neither is April." Casey leaned forward and pointed at him, shoving his finger into his plastron to make a point. "And _**you**_ are going to destroy yourself if you keep doing this! You deserve to have a life, dude, and we wanna help. I know your brothers want to help too, and they'll listen, all three of them. But I know you're not gonna talk to them yet... So until you can, you gotta talk to _someone_ , man. Take out your feelings in a way that isn't pretending reality doesn't exist and punching people in the face."

Leo forced a humorless chuckle, "I thought you would approve of the punching way of coping."

Casey shrugged, "I mean, I do, but it can't be the only thing you do. I mean, I wish it was, but I think the last time I tried doing only that April about punched me too. You gotta talk."

He scoffed, "I wish you guys could go to therapy or something, but even if you guys weren't mutant turtles they probably wouldn't believe half the shit we've been through. But you got us! So you gotta take the next best thing."

"I..." Leonardo didn't know what to do. His mind screamed at him to accept Casey's offer; he knew he needed it. He hadn't spoken to anyone about his doubts and failures since his father had been alive. The self doubt and hatred was eating him alive. He wanted to feel alive again, to have someone tell him it'd be okay. But wouldn't that be weak? Would Casey think he lost his strength? Would he think he didn't deserve to lead?

"Hey," He interrupted his racing thoughts. Casey set a hand on Leo's shoulder, uncharacteristically gentle, and spoke quietly. "Come on, dude, there's no shame in venting. Be the little bro for a second and tell me what's wrong."

Leo broke.

"I don't know what to say..." Leonardo admitted, blinking away the tears that had started to form in his eyes. "I... I feel useless, like there's no point of me being here anymore now that the Foot and the Kraang and everyone else are gone. Everyone else has other talents and skills and a reason to be here, but I was just the leader to finish up Master Splinter's war. Now that it's done... There's nothing left for me."

"What do you mean? Of course there's stuff left for you. Your family is right here."

"They don't need me." Leo spoke through clenched teeth. "They did for a while, but there's no fight or plan needed anymore. They don't even need me to break up their fights or train them anymore! I don't have anything to teach them. The only role I had left was the one Sensei gave me before he died, when he told me I had to be their father now. But I don't have anything to teach them or to lead them into! They don't need me, no one does, I don't have a place here anymore. It's done with."

He squeezed his eyes shut, and his voice grew louder with each passing word. "Everyday I feel like I'm just wasting time, trying to get it over with! Sure, life was tough when we were fighting the Kraang and Shredder and the Triceratons, but I had a purpose! There was a point to my life! There's nothing anymore. I don't see a point of living and I know how awful that sounds, but what am I supposed to do? Yeah, I waste all day training and meditating but I don't see anything else I can do. You guys are all fine without me, and so is the world. There's no point to me anymore. I don't have a place in this world."

Leo stopped abruptly and slapped a hand over his mouth, realizing in horror what Casey had somehow managed to get him to say. He felt something wet on his cheeks and his eyes widened. He was crying. And did he just... admit, all of that? Did he just tell Casey how pathetic he was? How could he betray himself like that? What had he done?

He hunched in on himself and tried to stop himself from shaking, blinking rapidly to get rid of the tears. Here he was, upset he could no longer lead a team, but he hadn't even stopped to wonder if he was worthy of doing that anymore. If he couldn't handle normal life, how was he supposed to take care of anyone? He was useless either way.

"Leo? Hey, Leo, calm down man! It's okay, just breathe!" Leo hadn't even realized he'd zoned out and was crying until he felt a hand on his upper arms, grounding him and bringing him back to reality. He tried to focus on his words and his breathing. "That's it, just breathe. Uh, shit, what would Donnie do... Okay, uh, in and out, in, out. You're okay. Focus on my breathing."

Leo blinked and cleared his vision, and hunched in on himself even more. "Thanks," he whispered, ashamed. Casey waved it off.

"It's nothing dude. I'm just glad you're calmed down." He crossed his arms over his chest and frowned.

"But Leo, you can't think like that, man! You're not useless, and you don't just not have a place anymore. You shouldn't've felt like you had to be a father in the first place." Casey kept going before Leo had a chance to get a word in, "Those are your brothers out there, and you're their brother too. You're still a kid. Splinter was great and all, but he shouldn't have tried to put that stress on you like that."

Leo was immediately on the defensive, eyes narrowed in suspicion, "And why not? You don't think I can handle it?"

"What? No!" Casey huffed, "Stop puttin' words in my mouth, dude! No one's attacking you!" 

"You can obviously handle it. You have been for the past two years. You just shouldn't have to. You're still a teenager, you need to relax and have some fun and make stupid decisions. You and your brothers need to take care of each other... that includes them taking care of you, not just the other way around."

"I told you, I'm not gonna put that on them!" Leo stood up, pointing at Casey in accusation. "You said you had a younger sister and said you understood. If you have a sister too, and would never tell her what you've gone through, why can't you accept I feel the same about my little brothers?"

"My sister is barely a teenager, Leo. She doesn't even know aliens or mutants exist and has never been in a fight, unless you count all the times she argues with her teachers. That's a huge difference from your brothers, who have helped save the world on several occasions and gone through their own trauma equally as bad as yours." Casey stood up too so he didn't have to look up to see the turtle. He took a step forward, frowning when Leo took one back. "Not to mention, she doesn't know what's happened with me. Your brothers do! They've seen you get thrown through a window and passed out in a bathtub for three months, and they've seen you suffocate in space with a broken suit! There's a difference between you isolating yourself from them and me not telling a middle schooler about the world getting destroyed and you know it. They know you aren't okay, and want to help you. Hiding like this is just hurting all four of you." 

Leo didn't move, feeling practically paralyzed. Casey sighed, and when he spoke again, was much calmer than before. Leo didn't know whether he was thankful or upset for that.

"You're not useless Leo. You have a place here, with us, and you deserve just as much support as they do. They're so worried about you. We all are."

"You shouldn't be."

"Yes, we should." Casey smiled sadly, "Mikey keeps trying to plan a dinner that'll make you happy, and has been so disappointed that the last three nights haven't done it yet. Raph won't admit he's worried, but he asks what you're doing way too often, and is so stressed. He's picking more fights than normal - you know he's not out there either right now, right? He's hanging out in his room ranting to Chompy or something. Yesterday he snuck out for a few hours and got into a half dozen fights- and didn't even invite me. Crazy, right? And Donnie won't sleep at all. He's doing his stupid 'I can't sleep until every project I've ever thought up is done' thing, and this is the first time Mikey's been able to drag him out of his room this week. They're all so worried." 

The guilt settled back into its old home in Leonardo's gut. His goal had been to prevent this! He didn't want them to be worried... Keeping everything to himself was supposed to keep them happy, not make them even more stressed. This wasn't what he planned. He hadn't guarded them after all.

He had failed again.

"My point is, Leo," Casey took another step towards him, "You're just as much a part of this family and world as they are, and they want to help you just as much as you do them. And you know what?" 

Leo hesitated. "What?"

"Let's pretend you're right - which you aren't - and say our situations with our little siblings are the same. Even though I don't tell my little sister anything, she still helps me. She's not an idiot and even when I try to hide it, she can tell that I'm upset. Kids are smart, yo." Casey grinned, "And she'll come in to talk to me about some show we both like and distract me, or she'll 'accidentally' buy an extra candy bar and give it to me. She knows I'm not gonna talk about it, but she wants to help anyways. If I shut her out, that'd only worry her more."

"Yeah, it would..." Leo said softly, looking down in shame. Casey smiled sympathetically.

"Wanna know where your place is, Leo?" He asked, "'Cause I can tell you where it is."

Leonardo didn't want him too. Everything Casey had said so far, he knew he was right about, but he couldn't be right about this. Leo didn't fit in in this world anymore. As much as he wanted to believe him, he couldn't let himself get his hopes up. He couldn't afford for them to shatter again. The sooner he accepted his job in this life was done, the sooner he could figure out something to hold him over until death. Sure, it'd take quite a few years, or decades, but it'd be over eventually. He didn't want Casey to ruin that. Better to get used to it sooner than later, right?

But Casey wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"Your place is with your brothers and with us. Who else is gonna laugh at stupid low-budget sci-fi films? Who else is gonna make the cringey references and pretend he's a superhero? You're the fanboy geek who doesn't wanna admit he's one, who cares for his family and is overbearingly loyal. We need ya, and not just for your fighting skills. Your brothers need you for you too. We _all_ need you." 

Leo had no idea what to say to all of that. "Casey, I-"

"Shush. I told you I'm playing big brother right now," Casey put his arm over Leo's shoulders again, walking towards the door and pulling him along with him. "Now, everyone else is finishing up their game by now and gonna start the movie marathon soon. You're gonna get out there and ask to watch Space Heroes, you hear me?"

Though a small voice in the very back of his mind protested, Leo didn't argue. He didn't want to. What Casey was saying sounded too good to be true but... he was so tired of hiding. He was tired of feeling worthless. He just wanted his family again, to watch a stupid show and be a kid again. He wanted to stop worrying for five minutes. 

"Okay." He said. Casey grinned and whooped in victory, and even Leo wasn't unable to keep away a slight smile at that. 

Maybe Casey was right.

When the two stepped into the main room, they were greeted immediately with three confused, and then smiling, faces. Donnie had been in the middle of wrapping up their two controllers and setting them in the small box they keep next to the TV, while Mikey and April were siting a short distance away, discussing what movies to watch next. None of them had expected to see Leo out to join them, but judging by the poorly hidden excitement in their eyes, it wasn't a bad surprise.

"Hey Leo!" Mikey piped up happily, jumping up from his seat and running over to hug his brother. Leo moved away from Casey, who had never removed his arm from his shoulders, to properly hug his baby brother. Casey took a seat besides April, flashing her a quick thumbs up that Leo pretended not to notice. Donnie finished putting the controllers away and turned his attention to his older brother as well. 

"So," April asked carefully, smiling hopefully, "Are you gonna be joining us for movie night?" Mikey tightened his hug, and Leo contemplated for a moment.

"Can we watch Space Heroes?" He asked. Donnie waved a VHS tape above his head.

"Already setting it up!" He announced, and Leo pretended not to notice that this had been a carefully crafted set up to get him out of his isolation since the start. They had been surprised, so Leo guessed they had been doubting that it would work, but it was their plan nonetheless. In all honesty, it made everything Casey had said that much more genuine. They had all cared that much to put a plan together, just for him, and just so they could watch a show they all claimed to hate with him. 

It was sweet.

Mikey ran off to get snacks while Donnie finished setting up the show, and then they all settled down on the pile of pillows they had created for their gaming tournament earlier on. Leo had seated himself on the far left side with Mikey right next to him. April, Casey, and Donnie had sat right besides him with Casey in the middle, and they all settled down to watch the movie. Leo looked around quietly, staring towards their bedrooms. This wasn't right yet.

"What about Raph?" Leo asked suddenly, his hand absentmindedly rubbing circles on Mikey's shell. Casey waved off his concern.

"He'll be out soon."

"You sure?" Leo doubted. Casey just nodded.

"Trust me, lil bro."

Leonardo rolled his eyes, and ignored the strange looks his other two brothers gave him. He was too emotionally exhausted to explain Casey's weird attempt at comfort now. And, besides, he didn't mind all that much. Having someone look out for him for a change was... nice. Sure, Casey was wild and even more childish than Mikey at times, but he was stronger and wiser than he let on. He was no little kid. He just liked to have fun, but he knew what he was doing and so... Leo let himself trust him about Raph. He'd be out soon. He could trust Casey for that.

Not that Leo would ever admit to having any of those thoughts just then.

The movie began to play, and everyone quieted down in order to hear Captain Ryan speaking. All five of them had seen this show at least half a dozen times by now, Leonardo twice as many, but they listened anyways. Leo found himself leaning towards the screen again as the familiar excitement began to build in his chest. He had forgotten how much he enjoyed these characters, and felt a pang of shame tug at his heart for betraying his hero like that.

Never again.

And so they all watched, but Casey was right. It only took around five minutes for the sound of the TV to draw Raph out of his room.

"Leo? You're out." His brother asked, looking a little shocked. Leo turned around and pressed a finger to his lips, quietly shushing Raph, and pointed towards Donnie. He was fighting it, but their sleep deprived brother was already close to falling asleep. Raph nodded, and took a seat on the other side of Leo, who pretended not to notice how purposefully close he sat.

Leo smiled softly when he realized just how right Casey had been. He silently made a vow to never worry his brothers like this again. He had noticed all the signs of care now that he was looking for them. Mikey, who hugged him tighter as though making sure he hadn't left. Raph, who kept scooting closer until their arms were touching and he could be certain Leo was still there. Donnie, who sat besides Mikey and glanced over once more to ensure all three his brothers were there before he felt safe enough to finally let himself rest. Even April seemed more at ease now that Leo had returned to them.

And Casey looked as proud as ever, just as Leo did about his younger brothers.

It was then that Leo realized the truth. Sitting between his brothers and surrounded by family, tired faces lit only by the screen ahead of them, he knew he had been wrong before. He wasn't useless. He had a place in this world.

And that place was right here, with his family.

He was still needed.

**Author's Note:**

> If you told 13 year old me I'd be sitting here at 18 years old writing freaking TMNT fanfiction I would probably be very upset that I'm still such a nerd, BUT HERE WE ARE!
> 
> Enjoy please!
> 
> I don't think this fic needs any warnings but let me know if you want me to tag something and I will!


End file.
